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Apr 22, 2004
Chicken tonight

And on that note:
If there's one thing that really bugs me, it's incomplete chicken costumes. I mean, if you're going to go to the trouble of dressing up like oversized fowl, do it right, man!

Apr 21, 2004
To be a poet

What I learned in school today:

Gertrude Stein sounds like a large chicken. That is all.

Apr 19, 2004
From the depths of hell

EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!
Sorry.  That was just the ol' evil alert.   Why did it go off, you ask? 
Wait, what's that you say?  Oh.  Um, so, um, you didn't ask that.  You asked if you could borrow my fishing pole, some bleach, and a club-footed puma.  I see.  I'll be right back.

(an hour passes...)

Ok, I'm back.  I'll tell you anyway about the evil alert, and you'll see how sorry you'll be when you find out the reason.  You'll be like "I am so sorry, now that I found out the reason," and then later, you'll be like "I was so sorry, having found out the reason."  And then much later, you'll be like "I had been sorry..." well, you get the picture.  On to the EVIL!

I have a computer science course here at Cornell, CS312.  The last assignment of the year - arguably the biggest, was recently posted.  In it, the following instructions are written:

"A week after the problem set is handed out, there will be a specification change. This could be a change to the rules of the game, to the language, or to bot features."

Ignoring the details of the project, just think about that one for a second.  That's like a history teacher saying "Oh, yes, write a paper on 'The Protestant Reformation and Its Effects on Local String Bean Farmers in Indonesia,' " then two weeks later, saying, "We've changed the assignment to 'Catfish and You: A Retrospective.' And write the essay on a live manatee, not paper."

Crazy?  Yes, but not too crazy for computer science.  Revel in the heartlessness!  Feel the burn!  Set your hair on fire!

Apr 1, 2004
I'm gettin' a vibe

Ok, um. Right. Yeah. I've got the feeling that I ought to update this blog. You see, I've been getting these vibes. They're simliar to "smart waves" in that they look like this: -.-.-.-. Anyway, so these vibes said to me, "Hey, Mister Skumperwider*, it's time for some updates, and pronto! After you're done you can do whatever you want - go play skeeball! Go shoot movies! Or people! But now, updates ASAP. Don't make me get out my broccoli..." Well, there are children (or at least easily amused people) watching, so I won't get into it, but let it suffice that they had me convinced. So I made a resolution: I will have been updating at some point. (You see, the vibes don't understand the future perfect progressive. I showed them!) And that, my children, is why Kazakhstanians don't wear cheese....oh, sorry. Wrong document. And that, my children, is why I will update soon. Oh, yes. This wasn't an update. Call it a "pre-update." Or call it Bob. I don't care.

* That's the vibes' nickname for me. I call them Klaus, sometimes.