Stalkerific

I seem to have been accosted by a denizen of the web with the pseudonym "Evil Stalker Bastard," as featured in my chatterbox on the right. (At least I assume it's a pseudonym. Your parents would have to be pretty twisted to name you that, wouldn't they?) Hmmm. I wonder who you are. You see all I know is that you likely live in a cornell dorm, you use Internet Explorer 6.0 [Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)] with Windows XP, your IP address, though it has likely changed, is 128.253.171, you visited on February 14, 2004 at 8:42:48 PM, you didn't click on any links on my website, your blood type is O+, you have a penchant for fancy dinners with white wine and fish, and you get along well with most of your family, except for your little brother, but everyone agrees that something just isn't right with that boy, anyway. Oh, and one more thing - don't wear that brown shirt you've set out for tomorrow. I know it looks cool, but I hear that brown is the new pink. Or maybe the other way around. Or maybe it's gray that's the new lavender? I get confused. In any case, I do know that some colors are really disguised as other colors in this season. Ask my friend Juliana - she's a Textiles and Apparel major, and I think she gets this. Maybe they have a class on knowing what colors really are. Deep stuff.

Anyway, Mr. Bastard, so now who's the stalker, huh?

Clouds

In other news, I may not get kicked out of Cornell, after all, if I can wade my way through some Big Red Tape. I guess every dark cloud has a silver lining. Except in Ithaca. Where it gets too cold to have clouds that do anything but block out the sun. I was cheering today, when the temperature soared a full 3 degrees above the predicted high. Yes, my friends, it was a whopping 8 degrees Farenheit (for you Europeans, that's 235.6 degrees Celcius, if I calculated it right. Then again, I'm not doing too well in Physics these days, so I could've made a sign error...)

Wow. Did I just spend some precious moments whining about the weather? I apologize. I'm posting this one, but I guarantee something better very soon. Or at least something more disturbing. Just give me a minute.

Pants + Fridge = Excitement!

My pants are in my mini-fridge. No kidding. It's partially due to the fact that I'm a computer science major. Yeah, alright. I may explain this. Later.

Poll

So I wanted to do a poll to see what people think - though those who actually read this may not be the best sample of modern trendsetters, it's what I have access to. Send me your answers by posting a comment or clicking here to send me an IM (using AOL Instant Messenger™):

And the poll question is (drumroll, please):

Does this font make me look fat? 1) Yes 2) No 3) The late Strom Thurmond Choose wisely, friend.

Ready, AIM, fire!

So, based on the fact that I've been getting an unusual amount of hits recently (4 a day or so) without fairly recent content, makes me think that it might be a good idea to add something. But, you see, I just started school, and it occurred to me that I'm taking 21 credits as a Computer Science major. (Translation: I'm going to either be that annoying over-achiever that you love to hate, or one of those people whose friends and neighbors end up on the news saying things like "but he was such a nice guy.") As such, though I've gotten off to a decent start - one whole week without failing - I haven't really been thinking much about what to write. However, do not despair! Friends, Romans, countrymen and Janet (that rather odiferous lady I met last week at the supermarket) - lend me your ears. Or at least read on. Here is an actual IM conversation I had with my friend Ari. I don't know - I started joking, and he played along. I guess I just found it amusing:

Me: So when're you coming? Ari: one sec... Me: Um, I mean Shavua tov. [Hebrew for "have a good week."] Me: It came out wrong. Me: That's what I meant to say. Ari: shavua tov Ari: umm... Ari: i'm not sure when we're coming Me: I see how it is. Ari: i have to check out my calendar, and check with the others Ari: possibly march Me: You don't love me anymore. Ari: unclear Me: What is it? Did you meet someone else? Me: Is it the way I wear my hair? Ari: it isn't true, i tell you Me: Or how I bite my toenails? Ari: Me: I could stop -honestly! Ari: you'll never take me alive!!!! Me: Yeah, grovel, you worm. Ari: ok, you force me into this Me: You won't be going any where without this... Me: <holds up Ari's liver> Me: Ha! Ari: they'll never catch me Ari: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Ari: my liver!!!! Ari: it was YOU all along! Me: Uh-huh, and if I go, the liver goes with me. Me: Your call, buster. Me: Anyway, so March, huh. Me: I guess I'll just cry myself to sleep until then. Ari: i'm thinking yeah Ari: i guess so

Similes

Some similes, for the poet in all of us: Computers are like elephants - they have a good memory and you would want an angry one charging at you. Ideas are like ducks. Both have webbed feet, and both have feathers. No, wait....not ideas, swans. My room in Israel no longer smells like cholent [beef stew]. And there was much rejoicing, and the townsfolk were merry.

I leave in a few days. Less rejoicing, less merriment. Oh,well. I can always take solace in the fact that I am not (last I checked) Michael Jackson, nor am I Martha Stewart.Yeah, that's it. I feel better already.

On Fish

My finals are swiftly winding down, but it occurred to me the other day, that despite people's insistence that fish is brain food, it is not the best brain food. You what is? Brains. Go figure.

Batting a Thousand

I know I haven't been updating much. I found out that I have classes, and my boyish good looks and charming personality can't get me the A's I deserve. (I know! I was surprised too!) So I have to hit the books. If that doesn't work, I'll hit my friends. Usually I feel better about myself after that. Oh - I do have one thing to note: There comes a time in every man's life, where he must turn to his fellow man, and explain, calmly and patiently, that the long-john underpants he [the friend] is wearing do not count as pants. I knew that - I just didn't think that my turn to explain it would be so soon.

Like a Rock

Why does the English language have to be so darn amibigious? When people told me college would be hard, I thought they meant "durable," as in "that's a hard rock," or "that rock is rather hard," or "the harditude of that rock simply astounds me." But nooooo. They meant "difficult," as in "that's a hard rock to lift," or "you see, it wasn't so hard to get that rock down his esophagus, was it? Now let's go out for ice cream - on me." Darn tricksters. I'll get that Webster, if it's the third-to-last thing I do. He still owes me ice cream.

Haircuts and Nonsense

A mixed bag today. Firstly: There are three types of people in this world, not two, as previously thought. Thank you. Secondly, I recently got a haircut, and I noticed an interesting social phenomenon. People say "nice haircut" as a replacement for "I want you to know that I am aware that your hair is notably shorter than it was in the recent past," because the latter sounds stupid and isn't a compliment. Not that I'm self-conscious about my looks, but I'd like someone to come up to me, peer at my now-lighter cranium, and say, quite nonchalantly, "Don't worry - it'll grow in, I'm sure." I would really believe a future compliment from that person, wouldn't you? And lastly, I had an...interesting day today. Read more about it here: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Evenstar08 in the posting from today (11/30) and the first comment following it.