Ok, so first of all, at least three people asked me whether the implication in the last post was true. Let me get this straight: You guys think that having run over a defenseless animal, I would not only not express deep and sincere remorse, but that I would actually ridicule the poor beast as well as its legal guardian?
Well, yeah. I guess I would. Good call. But in this case, I was making stuff up. I should clarify. Since funny stories are almost always funnier when true, I generally make it quite clear when I am telling a true story. For instance, I might say "I am not making this up," or "This is a true story," or "Leave $1 million in unmarked bills underneath the water fountain by 5 PM, or little Fifi is going back into the well." In all of those cases, I'm serious, ok? In all other cases, assume I'm joking, or assume it might be true - whichever makes me look better. Bear this in mind while perusing these here postings, and you will not be the lost souls you so clearly seem to be, seeing as how you're busy reading this. Remember these rules, because, after all, little Fifi is depending on you.
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