So I seem to get weirder when I get more tired. I finally got my American (VOIP) phone line working at something like 1 or 2 in the morning, so I called some friends to let them know. After all, for $200 / 15 months, it's free to call anywhere in the U.S. (Nice, eh?) So I called my friend R, and we had this conversation:
[Phone rings.]
Me: Hey.
R: Who is this? Jesus?
Me: [Hesitating] Yes.
I have a mission for you. Go out and buy lots of flamingoes. Buy all the flamingoes. Form a flamingo army.
Tie them to your waist, and [dramatic pause] fly, fly, fly.
Fill the sky with pink.
R: What???
Me: I don't know. You said I was Jesus.
R: Yeah, but- what??
Me: Never mind.
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